McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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