I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
