u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
