i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
