Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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