He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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