I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
false alarm, still single
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
