i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
