You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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