love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
