He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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