I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
