What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
