She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
