well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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