i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
