Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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