that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
