Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
