these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
