she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
