I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
