No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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