And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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