my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
