the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
A bitchslap is in order.
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