wanna go halves on a baby?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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