I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
