You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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