Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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