He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
