so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
