You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
