i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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