Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
