Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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