Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
