apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She bit a glass in half.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
