I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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