she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I have tasted many bathrooms
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
