I don't remember. Are we still dating?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
