dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
