...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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