well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
