you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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