from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
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