Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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