i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
