i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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