How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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